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real and attainable happiness  

2013-08-14 21:16:26|  分类: 2013-8 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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real and attainable happiness - 温柔的石头 - 我是我的情人

 

 

I can't do this any more. This isn't who I am. This isn't what I want. Why has it mattered so much to keep up with these ridiculous people ,this ridiculous lifestyle?

 I want a simpler life. I want  to get rid of all this stuff.

I suddenly realized how much I love my whole family. I feel like I've been so caught up in all the social stuff here, I haven't been focused on you all, and tonight I suppose I just realized that none of that material stuff matters.

I guess tonight was just the pinnacle of everything that's wrong with Highfield. Even though I had a good time, it is partly because I felt detached from everything. For the first time I didn't feel inadequate , didn't feel I had to keep up with everyone ,and I suppose it made me realize how superficial this all is.

How do you explain to the people you love that it isn't about them? That you've done this, even though you didn't expect it to amount to anything, because it's about you. Because despite how perfect your life is, how you appear to have everything you have ever wanted or needed, you don't know who you are any more.

She's stuck. Too frightened to make a change, too frightened to stay still.

And it isn't about Richard. Isn't about the children. Isn't anything to do with them. It's just that she needs to step outside her life for a bit . Remind herself of who she used to be , of what life was like.

She wants to remind herself of a simpler life. A simpler time when the things that mattered were friendships-real friendships, people who didn't judge her because of what her living room looks like or what handbag she's holding. When happiness was something real and attainable-not somethinf she only catches a glimpse of these days ,and even then only once in a while.

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